yes, you can lose weight and still booze
^3.8/5 for clickbait
How do I lose weight and still party? You likely already know how, you just want read it in a different way.
Why does alcohol impede weight loss in the first place?
Losing a pound of fat requires a ~3500 calorie deficit, or 500 a day if we want to drop a pound of actual fat, not water, per week - which is an ideal pace. (“but ideen, i lost 8 lbs that one week before cancun” - no you didn’t, you lost 5 lbs of water and shit taking laxitives and 2 pounds of fat at best - hence the puffy cheeks day 2 of spring break).
If we’re exercising, eating mostly fruits, veggies, and lean protein, it’s a comfortable deficit. Start mixing in anything made by Hostess or a can of Mr. Pibb with lunch and that deficit disappears swiftly.
Let’s now assume we’ve made it to Friday night with 6 days of 500 calorie deficits behind our back , totaling at -3000 calories for the quants out there, and we’re feeling just good enough to ruin it with 4-12 cans of Nooners followed up by some late night Chinese and a side of Papa John’s. Wow, in the matter of mere hours, we just erased the majority of our deficit, bringing us back to the start of the week.
How might you ask? The late night Chinese? No, actually of the two, that might’ve been easier to recover from. Unfortunately, no matter what Michelob Ultra or the girl next to you drinking a tequila water says, there are calories in alcohol you can’t get rid of unless you get rid of the actual alcohol, which has about 7 calories per gram, and what’s the fun in that.
Ok, so alcohol has 7 calories per gram, that doesn’t sound like much, and it’s just liquid right? That doesn’t count does it?
Sure, if you drink your vodka soda out of a dropper.
The average person may have 3-5 drinks in a night while the average resident of south boston will likely double to triple those numbers. One of the lower calorie drinks out there is champagne, at around 100 calories a glass. So on the lowest end, we’re talking 300 calories, and on the highest end - 1500? 1500 calories, or, our average lunch and dinner combined. (This is assuming we’re drinking low cal. A single mudslide is upwards of 550 calories.)
Simplifying things even further, let’s land somewhere in the middle: 750 calories in one night, excluding food. If you’re pushing it, you may burn that off in about 1.4 SoulCycle classes. Add your average dinner (700 cal) and do that again Saturday we’re already through our 6 day deficit, not counting the afterparty dominoes or the questionable nutritional choices we make the next morning.
Shit, now it’s Sunday and we’re back where we started. That’s fine, if we don’t care to lose weight, but you can see how this can be problematic if we are.
So what CAN we do?
If you want to be a party boy and also lose weight, you’re going to have to give up something, somewhere. Here are some simple strategies:
Big weekend? Deeper deficit during the week, light on the pre-drinking food, no late night food.
I mean, it’s just arithmetic. If you know the 70 hour work week is ending with a 40 hour bender, earn that hangover.
That means: more exercise, lean protein, more fruits/veggies, little to no “bad” carbs, and no mid-week drinks.
Sprinkle in a couple intermittent fasting days? Why not.
Light meal before going out each night, ideally greens and some protein.
“but i need pizza to absorb the alcohol” - no, that’s a myth narcs tell you to get you chubby. Stuffing your face before drinking just makes you bloated and takes you longer to get drunk, requiring more alcohol, calories, and cash. For some people (we all know someone), that could be a good thing, otherwise it’s just an uncomfortable way to spend more money and time getting to where you want to go.
Out to dinner? Food or alcohol: pick one.
If you want to house a tomahawk at Mastro’s Ocean Club, enjoy it - without the side espresso martini.
If you wan’t to get drunk till you can’t smell the breath of your friend’s coworker that met you for apps but has followed you to the next spot, and keeps saying they’re going home but just ordered another round, do that - but ditch the heavy food for a salad.
If your goal is to lose weight, picking one in a night will make things easier.
Limit to 2 nights a week, or less
I know, “but what about Sundays?” - you’re here cause you want to be able to lose weight and still drink, it’s math not magic.
Yes, it’s possible to drink more frequently and lose weight, but from a calorie, recovery, and food-decision making perspective crossing the 2 night threshold makes it far more challenging to compensate for.
Exercise more
Last for a reason, as you can’t outwork a bad diet, but if you only workout out twice a week are you really doing your best?
Take the $ from your third night out and spend it on a couple CorePower classes.
In conclusion:
Booze has calories you can’t get rid of if you still want the buzz, but that doesn’t mean you have to go straight edge to lose weight. You just have to have make up for it elsewhere.
As a bonus, I’ve included a list of go-to low calorie drinks:
vodka soda
Light beer - if you must have beer (Michelob ultra does take the cake for best ABV/Cal ratio)
gin and tonic
Tequila soda
Spiked Seltzers
Wine (lighter the better)
absolutely nothing with added sugar or fake sugar (diet sodas included)
As a general rule, carbonated beverages are better than still beverages (carbonation can help you absorb alcohol more efficiently, requiring less to get where you want to go)
Questions? Send an email to ideen@vicesfitness.com
